Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Nail Polish Fiasco (circa 2006)

I found several old blogs containing funny stories about the kids on my old hard drive and have decided to post a series of them on here. I am starting with a story from summer 2006 when Katelyn was 3 and Hunter was 2... complete with pictures. Enjoy!

The Nail Polish Fiasco

I work nights. Working nights doesn’t mix well with having two toddlers at home… so if you’ve been thinking about it and you have kids at home, just say no. Patrick left for work this morning and the kids were still asleep so he left us alone. Since I didn’t get to sleep until 7:30am, I guess I must have went into a semi-coma because I didn’t hear the kids get out of bed.

Something finally stirred me awake around 10am, it must have been the sense of impending doom that was hanging there in the complete silence of my bedroom. The kids were in the bathroom whispering. Whispering isn’t ever a good thing in my house. So I crept out of bed and stood outside the door listening.

“Hunter, give me more toilet paper, momma’s going to be mad!”


I pushed open the door and what do I see? Rainbows. A rainbow on my bathtub, a rainbow on my floor and a rainbow on my toilet. Oh, and the rug and the sink. What made these beautiful rainbows, you ask? Nail polish. Bottles and bottles of nail polish. I immediately regret the fact that I took Katelyn to the store for ten colors of it a couple days ago. She’s only three, what was I thinking?

So what do I do? I cry a little. Yes, that’s the only reaction I could muster because after 3 years of motherhood I am completely convinced my children truly hate me. I called my husband and told him he had to come home. He had no choice in the situation, but he had to come home right now before I completely lose my mind. He tells me to come pick him up so I pick both kids up and, for the first time, I actually get to take a good look at them since I am no longer focused on the mess in the bathroom…
Katelyn clearly also got into my makeup. She has painted on Groucho Marx style eyebrows with my mascara and has pink lipstick all over any area within 3 inches of her lips. Her body, as well as her little brother’s, is completely covered in every shade of nail polish I own. Hunter is crying. It may be because he has eyeshadow all over his face or maybe the nail polish that got inside his diaper is a bit uncomfortable, I don’t know.
My bathroom is clean now. I cleaned out Walgreen’s entire stock of nail polish remover and ruined six toothbrushes, but it’s clean. Social services will probably be knocking on my door soon considering I had to call the doctor to ask how to safely get nail polish off my children’s skin (baby oil, fyi). Oh well. Everyone’s kids do things like this to them… right?